Times had changed. When I moved to Bangalore last year I found a place close to the office. I was sharing the apartment with one other girl. Over time we had bonded well. She even helped me find a new apartment when we had to leave. But this time I was to live alone in a 1BHK. It sounded all fun in the beginning and eventually, the reality punched me in the face. My flatmate had moved her stuff over the weekend while I was in Chennai. On Monday I directly went to the office after my bus journey. In the evening I walked back home. When I entered my apartment and turned the lights on I felt the emptiness of the house. It was completely empty. Even the curtains were gone. That’s when it hit me. My flatmate owned pretty much everything in the house. Now that she had moved there was just my bed and luggage remaining in the house. I think I felt a pinch in my heart. I went to my room and realized the curtains of my room had also been hers. I could see the Oracle office right through the window. I rested on the bed for a while letting the new surroundings settle in. For two days I had to live like this. Wait, not just two days. Now I had to live alone even after moving out of this place. The thought scared me a little. I began questioning my decision. But there was no going back from here. With a heavy heart, I left for my guitar class. After the class, I didn’t want to go back home. It didn’t feel like home anymore. I wanted to take the first bus back to Chennai and never come back. For reasons unknown, that wasn’t the thought I followed. Instead, I chose to take myself on a date. Me, my guitar, and the best food I found in Bangalore. Though it was a little expensive I gave in to the thought and booked a cab. I waited and waited and then waited some more. The cab couldn’t get through the traffic. I had almost given up on the idea. It started to feel stupid. Just when I started to walk back to my apartment the cab had arrived. It took a while but I had made it to my favorite restaurant. I placed my guitar on the seat next to mine. I took my own sweet time skimming through the menu. Placing an order of one dish at a time. Just enjoying myself with a beautiful view. Being alone didn’t seem all that day after all. I cleared my head in the vicinity of people I never knew. It was soothing. It was calming. It was relieving. Enough to let me get through the night. And that’s all that mattered. This moment, this time. I could think of tomorrow when it comes. This time alone doing what I thought was best helped me rediscover myself in ways I had never done before. With a happy heart, I left the restaurant and went back to my empty apartment. It looked spooky in the night. I took a few blankets and turned them into curtains. I lay on my bed with a happy heart and mind. That night sleep came easily to me. I was growing. I was learning. I was rediscovering all that was hidden in the maze of my mind. I was ready to live alone.
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